This is a guest blog by Elena Maren, Writer and Montessori Guide – from our new friends at AlphabetTrains.
One Wednesday morning, after clearing the snack baskets, I brought a copy of Each Kindness from the shelf to class; a bit old from years of use, but that’s okay. A couple of my students whispered, “Oh that’s the one about the playground.” Not everyone sits right away. It usually takes me a minute to get everyone settled.
We were finally reading and when I stopped at the part in the book when Maya didn’t walk over to join the girls, I asked the question, “Why do you think she didn’t?” Slowly, my students started answering. A couple of them said they thought she was embarrassed or scared of being rejected. They didn’t all agree and some remained silent. What caught my attention was a student mentioning something that happened a week prior at recess and now wanted to talk about it.
Moments like this are easy to miss, but they are where children begin practicing how to think through what happened and how to respond to it.
Connection Creates the Space for Emotional Regulation
Reading aloud is mostly thought of as a literacy tool, a way for building a child’s vocabulary and background knowledge. In 1985, the Commission on Reading described reading aloud as “the single most important activity for building the knowledge required for eventual success in reading.” Literacy researchers have also cited an extensive body of research that reading aloud increases comprehension.
But other research reveals different facets. Families were involved in a randomized control trial conducted through Bellevue Hospital’s Video Interaction Project (via the American Academy of Pediatrics), where consistent habits of reading aloud and playing with their children were encouraged from infancy through preschool. By the time the children entered school, they had shown measurable decreases in hyperactive and externalizing behaviors, and those decreases were still evident 18 months later. The greatest benefits occurred in the families that started at birth and continued until age five.
This reminds us that reading aloud can help develop a child’s language skills, but can also develop their emotional regulation. This is understandable since reading aloud creates a space for a child to experience strong emotions in a contained space, as a child sits close to an adult and starts to listen; for example, a teacher’s voice softens when something feels serious and grows lighter when something feels hopeful. A child feels these shifts and, within that steady rhythm, a child can develop the ability to manage their emotions through repeated interactions.
Stories Help Create a Vocabulary for Emotions
According to the 2024 Scholastic Kids & Family Reading Report, 54% of parents of children aged 0-5 report using books to help their children understand feelings and emotions. And 90% of parents stated that reading books provides opportunities for conversation.
Parents and teachers know that stories can often create access to conversations that direct instruction cannot. Both provide multiple ways for children to learn the alphabet, including reading, singing songs or playing games; however, when children learn letters through play, stories, and creative learning activities related to letters, literacy becomes a relational process, not just an assignment.
Researchers who studied digital personalized stories have added another layer to this understanding. In a previous study, mothers used a digital version of a personalized storybook (for 3-4 years old) which included cues such as a child’s name or a photo of the child. This research found that when a child sees their name or picture, they are able to focus on themselves and talk about their own thoughts and feelings (self-talk) a lot easier. Although a child may have fun during this interaction; the adult has the responsibility to help guide the conversation so it goes beyond just focusing on how the child feels and also focuses on others’ feelings and views. If an adult does personalize in a good way and helps to continue a conversation about emotions after the child is engaged, personalizing can be a starting point for even more emotional conversations.
My students rarely begin a discussion with the statement, “I feel conflicted.” But after reading a story about a child who wanted to join a group and feared they would be laughed at, my students are able to articulate the complexities of the situation. For example, one student said, “She wanted to go, but she didn’t want them to laugh at her.” This distinction is important. Developing emotional intelligence requires children to be able to identify nuances.
Sometimes, psychologists refer to “emotional granularity” as being able to identify one’s emotions in detail (“I’m sad” or “I’m mad”) rather than labeling them broadly (“I’m just mad”). Research shows that when young children are better able to clearly identify how they feel about a situation, the younger they are the more flexible their responses to situations will tend to be. Reading aloud exposes young children to a greater variety of words associated with their emotional experiences, which can help them identify and articulate their feelings.
When we read aloud to children, we are providing them with a map of human experience they can explore safely.
Reading Together is a Ritual We Gradually Lose
The 2024 Scholastic Reading Report shows something worth noting. Only 51% of preschoolers are read to 5-7 times a week. By ages 6 to 8, that drops to 37%; by ages 9 to 11, it drops even lower to 16%. Frequent readers showed better mental health than infrequent readers. Infrequent readers reported being nervous, anxious, sad, and lonely much more often. More than half of the surveyed teenagers agreed that a book helped them understand and process their emotions.
While we often think of reading aloud as an activity primarily for young children and a way to lead children to independent reading, the emotional complexities of child development do not diminish as a child ages. They grow. When children engage in shared read-aloud experiences, it provides a common language for conversations without announcing that serious discussions will follow. The story becomes a common reference point allowing difficult subjects to become more accessible.
As this habit is learned, finding those natural opportunities to allow a story to start the conversation for us will become increasingly normal and routine.
Preparation Increases the Impact of Read-Aloud
Reading aloud appears to be a simple practice. However, as Education Week (2024) stated in “Make Time for the Read-Aloud. Here’s How,” effectively practicing read-alouds requires intentional planning. Literacy researchers suggest that educators should prepare by anticipating potential areas of confusion and selecting engaging content for students. According to one researcher, read-alouds provide “a tremendous amount of data showing the effectiveness” of the practice, but only when the educator takes the time to plan.
I have discovered that preparation enhances the quality of the conversations associated with reading aloud. When I know where a character hesitates or where tension arises, I can purposefully pause and ask questions that go beyond recalling information to interpreting information.
“What do you think she expected would occur?”
“Has anyone experienced a situation like hers?”
These questions may appear to be simple, however, over time they allow children to remain engaged in a story for a longer period of time. Remaining engaged enables children to gain a deeper understanding of the story.
The Environment Signals Safety for Children
While the physical setting of read-aloud activities is frequently overlooked, it has a significant impact. Education Week briefly touches on how the seating arrangement used while reading aloud influences how students experience a story. Some educators create a defined reading area like a shared rug or a designated circle, a specific location that is consistently used to read aloud.
Many schools and homes nowadays use carefully selected activity and learning rugs to define this space. The goal of using rugs in this manner is not to add aesthetic appeal to the classroom, but to establish predictability. When children sit in the same location each day, their bodies recognize the pattern. Listening becomes easier when the environment provides a sense of safety.
Literacy in Its Widest Definition
One of the most impressive aspects of the American Academy of Pediatrics study was its preventive design. The intervention did not attempt to address diagnosed behavioral issues. Rather, the intervention encouraged parents and caregivers to implement reading aloud and play as everyday practices. Behavioral improvements were demonstrated to be measurable in response to the intervention. This indicates that reading aloud is more than enrichment. Reading aloud is foundational.
By the time the stone ripples through the water at the end of Each Kindness, the children in my class typically fall silent. I remember Lucy saying, “She thought she would get another chance.” And little Blake responded, “But sometimes you don’t.” During this exchange, we’re not attempting to tidy everything up. The current mood lingers for a few more minutes until someone links what they are feeling to something that occurred during recess. Some heads shake and someone says, “It isn’t a big deal.” But then someone argues that “It is a big deal.”
What happened on that day may not resemble a structured lesson, but something important happened nonetheless. My students were testing their assumptions regarding fairness and observing the results of their actions. When children repeatedly participate in stories with a caring adult, they have an opportunity to develop their ability to pay attention, empathize, and regulate themselves while listening to others’ thoughts aloud.
Reading aloud for children enhances emotional intelligence by giving them a safe space to debate complexity while surrounded by people who care about them. That consistent presence is important.
When schools and families protect this ritual, they are building readers, but more than that, they are creating thoughtful human beings with the ability to reflect, repair, and respond with empathy. In a society where we move quickly over discomfort, slowing down with a shared story may be one of the most basic ways we help children grow from thankful toddlers and pre-schoolers into thoughtful elementary school students and beyond.
Alphabet Trains is an educational company focused on Montessori-inspired early literacy resources and hands-on learning materials for young children.
–
Sources:
Commission on Reading. (1985). Becoming a Nation of Readers: The Report of the Commission on Reading. National Institute of Education.
Education Week. (2024). Make Time for the Read-Aloud. Here’s How.
Kucirkova, N., et al. (2021). An empirical investigation of parent-child shared reading of digital personalized books. International Journal of Educational Research.
Mendelsohn, A. L., Cates, C. B., Weisleder, A., et al. (2018). Reading aloud, play, and social-emotional development. Pediatrics.
Scholastic. (2024). Kids & Family Reading Report.
